Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
