Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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