Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You pole danced in your parka.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
