No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
