Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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