Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
