yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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