I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
