I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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