Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I want her autograph on my taint
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
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