just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
