that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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