she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
