My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
