ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
