i just had sex bonerless
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
