she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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