i jhust puked up my retainher.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
