What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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