He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
