Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
