is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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