dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
