She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
