Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
