Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
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