why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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