Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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