I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
