Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
