Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
