Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
