Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
