He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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