i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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