The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
