I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
