I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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