Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
