You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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