We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize