Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish i was in the wii world.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
