A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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