Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
