Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
