peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
one might say we're banned from that church
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
