We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
