Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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