you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
