Tell her she can't have a vagina
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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