After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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