Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize