I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My brain says no but my pants say off.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
