I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Dear god my vagina.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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