Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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