I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I did not marry a roomba.
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