how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
