Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
