Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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