The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I will be naked everywhere
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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