Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
