I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
