I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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