im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Holy sore nipples Batman
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
